It has been 100 days since Glen left this world as we know it. I trust he is in a better place free of the dreaded cancer that plagued his male family members.
This is a paraphrase from Elizabeth Edwards. THIS IS THE LIFE I HAVE NOW, AND THE ONLY WAY TO BE RESILIENT WHEN THESE LAND MINES EXPLODE BENEATH MY FOUNDATION, IS FIRST TO ACCEPT THAT THERE IS A NEW REALITY.
The new reality is I am on my own. I cry and sob every single morning and sometimes all day long. Another reality is I am getting along remarkably well. I have taken the challenges of driving my own rig and working and coming and going alone. I have even gone dancing which is something I have never done alone in my life.
My garden is thriving. There are a lot of weeds on the property. I put them in the category of
will it make any difference in 10 years. That solves quite a few problems.
The children have been supportive. Kirk has had time to help me get going, but he is working all the time now. Lacey still asks "where is Grandpa Glen, I want to see him". This makes me cry
every time.
I traded my car in on a pickup truck that I can pull my horse trailer with if I am not going camping. I have never had to deal on anything like that before. Who knows if I got a good deal or not. I sure don't I just have to have faith that everything will work out for the best.
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I know this is a hard time for you. I know tha you have climbed out of many holes in your life and this does not have to be the deepest or the darkest - you have friends and family that love you. Today is a fresh start and you are alive and breathing (better I hope) and the possibilities are endless. I think the fact that you are sad is wonderful - how horrible it would be if we could not feel grief. We would not know joy. We would not recognize peace and calm and happiness if we couldn't feel pain, sadness, and loneliness. The key for me anyway is to not get stuck in the negative for too long. Helen Keller said, "Keep your face towards the sun and you can not see the shadows." Love you momma.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you enough how proud I am of you grandma! I can't wait to give you a big hug and kiss when you come up in August. Love you!
ReplyDeleteJeanie you are the strongest woman I know. You have already surpassed many milestones in the last few months. Imagine what's ahead!!
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